


Sherlollipops - No Offense

by MizJoely



Series: 221 Sherlollipops [99]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sherlolly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizJoely/pseuds/MizJoely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Molly is accosted by a strange woman on the steps of 221B Baker Street. Oh the things one goes through when intimately involved with a certain Consulting Detective!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherlollipops - No Offense

**Author's Note:**

> A long drawn-out allegory, or 7th grade diary entry? You decide. Rated K+ and dedicated to all the 'truthers' and 'skeptics' who can't seem to let a certain actor and his wife live their lives in peace.

“Your relationship offends me. Please stop.”

Molly stared at the woman standing belligerently in front of the door to 221B, blocking her entrance. “Um, excuse me? What?”

The woman stepped closer, a glower on her face, fisted hands on her hips. “I said, your relationship offends me. Please stop. He’s too good for you, which means it must be fake.” Her eyes had a fanatical gleam as she raised one hand and shook her finger in Molly’s face. “So stop. We know you’re not really married, that you’re blackmailing him. And as for that?” The pointing finger jabbed towards Molly’s distended midsection; instinctively, she stepped back and away from the apparent madwoman in front of her, ready to flee into Speedy’s if necessary. “That,” the woman said in an angry hiss, “is the fakest prosthetic baby bump I’ve ever seen. It’s all just some kind of PR stunt, and it offends me and you need to stop. Please,” she added, as if the nominally polite word might make a difference.

“Penelope, go home.” Sherlock’s voice was a welcome one, and it didn’t surprise Molly one bit that he knew the threatening woman’s name. “I’ve already told you once before, my relationship with my wife is none of your business. If it offends you so much, then stop obsessing over it with your so-called friends. The ones who are obviously just egging you on to see how far you’ll go,” he added coldly. 

The woman simply glowered at him. “You can’t fool us, Mr. Sherlock Holmes!” she shrilled. “We know you’re being blackmailed into this so-called relationship! We know there’s no real baby! We know the truth!”

Just then the baby kicked, Molly smiled, and Sherlock instantly transferred his attention to his wife. “Where? Never mind,” he added, pressing his hand to her midsection beneath her own. “Ah, he’s full of energy tonight, good!” He bent to kiss Molly, then stopped and stared coldly over his shoulder at the stranger. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be? Shall I deduce every nuance of your pathetic life for you? 

She could only hold his gaze for a moment, then lowered her head and hurried away. “Don’t worry, I’ll get Wiggins to keep an eye on you when you’re out in public without me from now on. Unless you’ll let Mycroft put a security detail on you?” Sherlock added hopefully, giving Molly the full puppy dog eyes.

“No, Wiggins and his friends will be just fine. Unless you think she and her friends are dangerous?”

Molly looked at him steadily, watching the struggle as Sherlock tried to decide how to answer her question. In the end, of course, it was the only way he could: truthfully. “No, not dangerous,” he said, sounding almost regretful. “Just overly convinced that they’re somehow saving me from myself. Not truly delusional, just a bit sad and desperate.”

Molly nodded, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm. “Right. I suppose I should feel sorry for them, but I guess I’m just not that good a person.” She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Let’s go upstairs, luv, my feet are absolutely killing me!”

Sherlock’s eyes lit up. “Ah, then that new lotion I purchased should be just the thing! A foot massage, a back rub, and a cup of Mrs. Hudson’s chamomile tea should do the trick, hmm?”

Molly smiled sweetly. “Sounds like heaven, Sherlock. Absolute heaven.”

Then husband and wife ascended the stairs to their flat, the annoying woman already dismissed from their minds.


End file.
